At my school, I’m a part of this hip hop dance group called Common Origins, which is the only non-audition hip hop group on campus. Joining CO was quite possibly the best decision I’ve made in college, as its brought me endless fun, a wonderful community of supportive friends, and a thoroughly ignited love of dancing.
Common Origins has this thing called Choreo Days, where anyone can come in and perform a piece of choreography they’ve put together. It’s a great way for beginners (like me) to try their hand at dance-making, and to just get more exposure to dancing beyond learning someone else’s choreo. I’ve been fooling around with this piece of choreo for the past few weeks, and I was really excited to share it with people…until I filmed myself today.
In the video, my dance looked nothing like they had in my head. My moves looked saggy, not swaggy, and I looked more like I was swatting flies than hitting the beats. And so I’ve spent the past few hours sitting here panicking about how shitty I look and working myself into a frenzy about whether or not I should even show anything tomorrow. I felt embarrassed, and even a bit ashamed that that was how my dancing looked.
But you know what?? I started dancing hiphop four months ago, and I suck. I absolutely, downright suck. And that’s okay. I’m not going to get better by hiding in my room and refusing to let anyone see my uncoordinated body contorting. This post is more of a declaration to myself than anything, but if you’re just starting out on something and feeling hesitant about continuing, then THIS IS YOUR SIGN. IT’S FAULTY LOGIC TO STOP TRYING TO LEARN SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU’RE BAD AT IT!
Tomorrow, I’m going to go in, show everyone my horrendous choreography, and BE PROUD. I will do my best and look floppy and uncoordinated, and I will be damn grateful to be somewhere where I have the time and ability to improve myself and to get better at dancing. And if anyone is going to judge me or tear me down for trying new things (including myself in that list of critics), then they can kiss my fly-swatting, badly dancing ass.